Twelve for 2012: The Sequel

What do you do when the story's finished but there's more to say?  Wait an appropriate amount of time then make a sequel!  And if the thing you have to say happens to actually be incredibly similar to what you said in the first place, but with louder bangs, then all the better, right?
There are of course many good sequels that aren't just cynical ploys to make more money with no regard for Art (capital A Art, not just drawing and stuff).  Where would we be without The Godfather 2?  The Back to the Futures?  The Toy Stories?  This blog post?  Maybe there is Art in the following list.  Or quality at least.  Maybe.  Fast and Furious 5 ended up being one of Time Magazine's top films of 2011, after all, and who would have expected that this time last year?

Here's twelve sequels set to come out in 2012:

1. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance - February

Nicholas Cage returns as the excellently named Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider 2.  He's a sort of flamey skeleton biker.  The first film had quite poor reviews, and and it's up against a lot of comic book superhero competition in 2012, as discussed in the last blog post.  But the trailer has lots of loud bangs, and that is what we the viewing public like, isn't it?

2. StreetDance 2 - March
StreetDance 3D was the first film in this franchise.  Who knows what will happen if they make another sequel.  StreetDance 33D?  StreetDance 3D2, featuring a breakdancing C3PO?

3. Wrath of the Titans - March

The first instalment was not exactly critically acclaimed.  But this one has Rosamund Pike looking utterly beautiful and waving a sword about, so must be better.

4. Scary Movie 5 - April (probably.  UK not yet confirmed)
Yes, this franchise is still going.  Now that is scary.

5. Men in Black III - May

It's got roman numerals or the cubed symbol instead of the number 3.  It's got Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords.  It's got something good to live up to with the original Men in Black.  It's got potential.  Men in Black II seems to have been wiped from my memory with the little MIB stick thing, which is possibly a good thing.

6. Ice Age: Continental Drift - July

Not the best animated films by any means, but you have to have a heart of stone not to be charmed by the trailer for the fourth Ice Age.

7. G.I. Joe: Retaliation - August
It's got Dwayne 'No Longer The Rock' Johnson in it.  That man makes a good action movie.

8. Step Up 4 - August
I wonder at what point they start stepping down.

9. The Expendables 2 - August
Apparently the script was too sweary for Chuck Norris so he's demanded it be toned down in order for it to get a PG13 rating in the US (so probably a 12A in the UK).  Good old fashioned violent fun for all the family.  Why not take your granny along, as she won't be offended by the language now.

10. Resident Evil: Retribution - September
Resident Evil 6.  It seems no one ever gets bored of girls and guns.

11. Taken 2 - October
To be involved in one kidnap, Mr Neeson, may be regarded as a misfortune.  To be involved in two looks like carelessness.

12. Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted - October

Hmm, the Ice Age trailer is better.

I'll have to add an extra one since there are so many.  A sequel to the sequels, if you will.  OR, the thing that makes this Twelve for 2012: The Sequel have a louder bang, in that there are 13 things in my list rather than 12.  It's bigger, and therefore better.

13. Nativity 2: The Second Coming - December
The first Nativity film, with Martin Freeman, did not belong in the cinema.  As a Christmas special on TV it was quite charming (my mum thought it was hilarious), but I would really have resented paying to see it.  Is this what David Cameron has in mind when he talks about expanding the British film industry?

Big explosion finale.  No one will notice that we've used it already.