The Christmas 2010 Coca-Cola Advert

It is nearly Christmas, hoorah, and we all know what that means.  Carol services, advent crowns, Jesus?  No!    It means the Coca-Cola advert with the lorries will be on TV.  (Apologies to my mother - I know Christmas is all about Jesus really).

But this year, things are different.  Coca-cola have planned a two-prong attack, and I seem to have missed the first prong (do I need to apologise to my mother again?).  Apparently the 'Holidays are Coming' advert underpinned the 'anticipation phase' of Christmas, which ran from 14 November to 13 December.  Now we are into the 'celebration phase'.  But I am not ready to celebrate.  I did not see any lorries on TV (though the contributors to this fascinating yahoo answers chain obviously did), and now all I have is this unpleasant offering:

I do not like the Coke Santa when he moves.  He's got that dead behind the eyes, slightly evil Tom Hanks in Polar Express look about him,  but he's not computer generated, he's an actual person.  When he tilts the snow globe, about 21 and 38 seconds in, it is particularly disturbing.  Tilting the snow globe sounds like a terrible euphemism.  Sorry to my mother, again.

I'm sure it's lovely to drink Coke at Christmas so that you can feel a sense of togetherness that no other fizzy beverage can provide, but the thought of a creepy puppet master dressed up as Santa, manipulating the level of the land so that people can have a Christmas snog does not fill me with Christmas cheer.  And the song is rubbish.  Bah humbug.  Ah, now I have found the true spirit of Christmas.

The Apprentice - interviews round 15 December 2010

This is it.  The moment we’ve been waiting for since we realised that Lord Sugar was never going to see on his own that Stuart Baggs the brand is a ridiculous man.  Yes, it’s time for the interviews episode of The Apprentice, undoubtedly the best part of every series.  Who can forget Lee's dinosaur impression?  Who can forget… no, that’s the only thing I remember about any of the other interview episodes.  But still, the return of cloud-haired papyrus-wielding Margaret Mountford was a joyous prospect.

Stuart Baggs the brand is clearly also a fan.  "Margaret!"  he cried lovingly, as he entered the room and saw her across the table.  In his head: trumpets were playing; a slow motion run towards her as they were magically transported to a field of galloping ponies; a lingering embrace.  But alas it was not to be.  She rapped his knuckles and became Miss Mountford for the rest of the interview.

Another highlight was learning that Chris referred to himself on his application form as a 'revered theology scholar'.  Has he done a PhD?  Is he well-versed in the Dead Sea Scrolls?  Well no, but he did do RE at A-level.  I'm shocked he wasn't asked to take part in the Christopher Hitchens Tony Blair debate, personally.

Other than that nothing overly exciting happened, I am disappointed to report.  Stella breezed through, and dull Chris got the second place (despite Nick Hewer saying that he "droned on"), seemingly because Joanna is rubbish at interviews and Jamie had begun to do Gordon Brown-esque twitchy smiles which I imagine made everyone nervous.

So who's going to win?  Presumably Stella, but we shall see on Sunday (note, not Wednesday), when she and Chris must design and market new alcoholic drinks.  I suppose it will be nice to not have to go cold turkey from reality TV on Sunday night.  And going by last weekend's standards, Take That are bound to make an appearance.  It has been four whole days since they've appeared on television.

Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran: Writing for the Stage and Screen - Oxford Playhouse, Sept 17 2010

Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran have had a prolific television writing career for the past 25 years, their work including Shine on Harvey Moon, Birds of a Feather, and Goodnight Sweetheart.  But they are not here as television writers, but rather as Olivier nominated playwrights, and the talk takes place on the set of their newest play, written especially for the Oxford Playhouse, Von Ribbentrop’s Watch.


The play is inspired by a true story: Laurence Marks (who is Jewish) bought a watch for $200 and years later discovered that it originally belonged to Joachim von Ribbentrop, Nazi Germany’s Foreign Minister who was hanged for war crimes after the Nuremberg Trials.  It turned out that the watch was worth about £50,000.  Whether it would be morally right for him to make a profit from Nazi memorabilia developed over three years from argument with his friend and writing partner Maurice Gran, to art.

Aside from very engagingly selling their play (Saturday was unfortunately its last night in Oxford before it goes on tour), they also talk about their theatre career in general.  They say that chance encounters have played a huge role in their success, but how many of us can say that we just happened to sit next to Alan Ayckbourn at the Hay-on-Wye Literary Festival?  Their television career made these chance encounters, with the right people, possible.

On being a writer, Marks says that everyone in the room will have had a wonderful idea, but only one person will know that they have had it.   Von Ribbentrop’s Watch raises the question, what would you do if you discovered you owned some Nazi memorabilia?  Sell it?  Give the money to charity?  Donate it to a museum?  Or write a play about it?

PS. Goodnight Sweetheart: The Musical is coming.  You have been warned.